evolution

Hi. this is my first blog too . .

I am thinking about this question of how / when / why do we evolve?
Did we evolve in the old days for survival reasons? or just by simple chance? over what span of time? generations?
Maybe if I developed a too long thigh bone, this is what enabled me to run far, catch fast food . .?
I've heard that we evolved sweat glands, and that actually made room for our voice box which enabled us to develop sound and language . . . was there a reason for this? what was / is driving this reason?
I guess my question is, in this consciousness that we potentially have, what is our purpose?
to catch better food? to survive the blistering heat? to be able to find water?
Is there an underlying survival agenda driving us?
Drive? desire? agenda? imperative? what could lead us where?
If not survival, then . .
Bliss? Disolution? No differentiation? Complete integration of individual and whole?
utter - fill - ment?
How do we choose? decide? what shall we do then?
ah, the great matter.
to be aware, and yet, to follow

and also, I note that when we are playing up there on stage, there are about a hundred evolutions every minute -- if we slow down enough to notice them . . we are creating language all the time - with a gesture of the chin raising up or a snicker to the side . . when do we just speed pass all these tiny accidents of creation . . when do we follow them and let them be the seeds of our language? our evolution? with no pre-determined goal? or the goal of creating a culture?

evolve: to unroll, derive, educe, develop, work out, to produce by natural evolutionary processes, emit
evolution: a process of change in a certain direction: unfolding, the action or instance of forming or giving something off: emission, a process of continuous change from a lower, simpler, or worse to a higher , more complex, or better state: growth, a process in which the whole universe is a progression of interrelated phenomena . . .

Culture/community/ensemble--desolate

I am bumping up against this idea of Culture, of a community, of an ensemble. All three different things yes maybe so and I feel a strong yearning for them, yet wonder the capability or possibility for any to be, truly. Am I holding on to tight to a certain idea of what these three "things" mean to me, also another maybe. I know one thing about it, is that I need a culture, a community, an ensemble to allow me to sustain myself. So I am not doing this all alone. So I dont feel quite so desolate as an artist. This is why I am here in D/D. I need this culture. This community, this ensemble of amazing people to help sustain in this world.

thats all, i think for know
Laurie

What comes first?

I often wonder when we discuss parts of Trungpa Rinpoche's teachings (which are part of the inspiration of d/d), whether there is a developmental order or not. Can we talk about
'thorough relaxation and wholesomeness'
without talking about
'absence of of neurotic mind'
and then before that is creating
'space'. As Rinpoche says
'Before we produce anything at all....' we need space....space which accommodates all...
lots of room, freedom, and wakefulness'.

So when we sit together, then we are making room for each of us to create that kind of inner space. MInd space. Open, present. That leads to sensing the presence of my 'neurotic mind', those deeper uncertainties and anxieties, and touching it and letting it go. Then as I am moving in personal movement practice I cultivate a kinesthesia that is 'thoroughly relaxed and wholesome' but then, I have to not get 'lazy' which is the next one....
'absence of laziness'.

Neurosis makes me feel energized. It's familiar. There is some frontier of experience when I cultivate relaxation....I start to drift. I only know relaxation as the start of flop. So then I have to wake up in the embodied relaxed state....awake, present, just here. What would we create if we could all do this?

gratitude for monday night

i finally logged in to the blog...my first blog experience! i so appreciate the openness of the ensemble on monday night as i presented my 'experiment' with breath/movement/energy and flocking. it is such a gift to be a part of an artistic community that welcomes new ideas and offers a safe space to try things, make mistakes, and just explore possibilities. i learned a lot!
i watch the huge ancient Cottonwood tree dance in the sunlight--wind(breath) initates movement, creates an energy of DeLIGHT which reaches me behind the window.
luv, christa

The original announcement of the project for the Naropa MFA Theater Program

Here's a link to the original announcement for the desolate delight project!

After Monday

Two thoughts this morning....first, after all my desire to create an open field of conversation in the 'culture' I'm the one who forgot to tell everyone about the video camera! I am very sorry....no red flag went up when Joan mentioned she was bringing it...it just went right by me and didn't register. Hopefully we can navigate through the bump! And second, we didn't talk about the Desert Quadrants. Except at the end when we moved to the new form including swarming/herding/flocking as part of our opening practice. So help me to remember to include time for those discussions. They are so juicy! Oh, and also I forgot to dedicate our creative energy to the larger field. That's important. Maybe that could become a 'little job'?

i c u

soundscape-birds tell each other about themselves
I see-one red scooter in space motionless, the reflection of the house across the street, a rock about the size of a head perched on the patio.
end

my eyes and more and more my ears are opening to seeing so many AUNTS around. moments in time I stop and notice the beauty of...I notice the performance of...i notice. its about that

D/D is about Noticing for me...its about noticing

l